Strung Along Fine Lines

Sunday, January 25, 2015

A lot of times I feel like life is a balancing act. We, especially as women but men as well, are expected to have exceptionally behaved children and make excuses (teething, sick, etc.) when they act like, well, kids, a spotless home with zero dirty dishes in the sink, freshly mopped floors and decluttered counters, cook food network healthy, organic, gluten free, cruelty free meals while simultaneously decorating a cake, be successful in work and be the best wives we can be all while making it to the gym 5 times a week and gulping down green juice and salads in between gymnastics, girl scouts, play dates, church functions and still making time to read to our kids.....

I don't know about you but that was a hell of a run on sentence and, if we're being honest, that is how my life has felt lately. Like one big run on sentence. Life is all about balance and there is no way we can possibly balance all those things and still be happy. 

I am a type A person. and I like to think that I can do everything and if I just stay organized down to the tiny details then maybe, just maybe, I can get everything done in a  day. 

But I can't. 

These past 5 months, and maybe more, I have not been myself. I blamed it on a hard pregnancy, but, it all has to do with me trying to get everything done just how others (and myself, I am my harshest critic) expect it to be. 

This realization hit me today. I am in the middle of my third homework assignment and I just needed a break. So here I am. 

I was thinking back to yesterday when Lo and I had a girls day with one of my friends and her daughter that is Lo's age. We went to lunch and then went to get our nails done. While I was sitting alone I was checking emails and getting back with clients then when we went to their house and were watching a movie I was setting my schedule for the week. When I ran out of work to do on my phone I felt so guilty that I wasn't working. I realized I haven't sat down and watched a movie without working or doing homework in months...maybe even longer. 

It's getting to the point of being extremely unhealthy.

I have never in my life been sick as many times as these past 5 months, I am still getting morning sickness but I have had the flu, colds, infections and I am pretty sure I have a sinus infection right now.

It isn't healthy to never let your brain or body relax. I wake up in the night thinking about work that needs to get done or things we need to do and don't fall back asleep for hours. 

The absolute, most unhealthy thing that I think I am doing is pushing relationships to the side. Reading and playing with my kids has been taking a back burner, Bryson and I haven't played a game or just enjoyed ourselves in a long, long time. We used to play a board game or card game almost every night. 

I feel overwhelmed and unhappy a lot of the time because my mind is absorbed in the wrong things. Tomorrow morning I am making a change. and it starts with a change in perspective. 
I can't do it all. and that's ok.

I am going to make  a time for work and homework and stop working into the wee hours of the morning. 

I am going to play with the kids more and enjoy Bryson's company more.

I am going to make healthier decisions mentally and physically for myself because I am sick and tired of being sick an tired. 

Tonight I am going to finish what is due tonight and then I am going to go to bed. 

Crazy Pregnant Lady

Friday, January 23, 2015

Odds are, if you've been pregnant (or with someone who's pregnant) you know about the dreaded pregnancy emotions. 

I'd like to think I'm a pretty level-headed person.  I try not to jump to conclusions, if somethings bugging me I don't beat around the bush and my husband cries more often then I do. 

But these pregnancy emotions have turned me into a crazy lady. I swear it gets worse with every pregnancy.  So I thought I would give some of my most memorable, emotional moments from each pregnancy. 

Pregnancy #1 - This one to me seems pretty reasonable. When Bridge to Teribithia came out I had seen it a couple of times but I was maybe 5ish months pregnant and decided to watch it again with my sisters. I laugh cried from around the middle of the movie alllll the way to the end. 

Pregnancy #2 - With this pregnancy it was all about the commercials. I couldn't handle anything that I could turn remotely sad. However, Bryson did tell me I was super sweet this pregnancy. I say it was because my hormones were so high that I had to keep them in check.

Pregnancy #3 - So here we are. I have been super hormonal and cranky. Exhausted and filled with all sorts of emotions. This past week I was grocery shopping with Bryson and we always split up because Foster will cry if Bryson is near us because he wants to be held. I went to get hamburger buns for the bison burgers we were going to have that night. I grabbed the pack I always do and was looking at it realizing there were only four buns. So what? It was that moment I realized that there wouldn't be enough for all of us when River is big enough. I did not have a full out bawl session but I did shed a tear or two. Bryson came over right then and just brushed past it. I knew that I could just buy two bags.....but for some reason it didn't seem realistic then. 

I honestly have no idea why I am so much more emotional (my husband would say crazy) this time around.  am going to blame it on lack of sleep and a exhaustion from chasing around a wild one-year old.

What is your best crazy pregnant lady story?

What I {and the littles ATE} Wednesday

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

In the essence of full disclosure eating healthy for me lately has been a huge struggle. Excess meat upsets my stomach and I have still been feeling the effects of morning sickness so I have been on a major carb trip lately. I have been trying to sneak more protein in with eggs, broccoli, oatmeal and things like that but it's not always easy! I have been trying to log my food intake a lot more on myfitnesspal (aspengroen) but it's taking me awhile to get back into the routine of it. 

I am also going to share some quick meals that I threw together for the kids but it really didn't merit it's own big post because I do not make my kids "special" food because they don't like or don't want to try what we are eating. So everything you see is both what I ate and what the kiddos ate. Their portions are a little different so I did show a couple of pictures :) 

There are a couple recipes on this post as well :) 

We love egg muffins. They are so easy and really easy to heat up and give to the kids on the way to school. We just throw in whatever we want and cook in a muffin tin until they are fully cooked but still wiggle a little.

20 Weeks River Jayce

Monday, January 19, 2015

 Today we had our 20 week ultrasound with a perinatologist and the meeting with the genetic counselor. Overall it was a great (three hour) meeting and the doctor and nurses were so sweet and very informative without overwhelming us. After meeting with the genetic counselor and the ultrasound our risks for down syndrome were changed from 1/20 to 1/10,000!!!!! Needless to say this was AMAZING news and we feeling so relieved. After this the doctors did explain to us that while we are low risk for down syndrome they are still wanting to watch for birth defects because the nuchal fluid was still thicker than what they would consider normal. They are feeling very optimistic though because with the original ultrasound the fluid was over 3 times the normal range and was just slightly thick today. 

19 Week Bumpdate

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

There really is not a whole lot to update on these past couple of weeks. I finally popped, I'm gaining weight like a mad women and am pretty exhausted all the time but puking has basically stopped. I have been eating mainly carbs (60%-70%+) just because they make me not feel as sick. But now that I am starting to feel better Bryson and I have decided to cut out sugar and try and be a whole lot healthier this half of the pregnancy. I think that will really help with, not only the weight gain, but the tiredness as well. I have also been noticing my groin injury from my first pregnancy is starting to flare up again which gives me some motivation to get back into the gym. 

December 2014

Monday, January 12, 2015

December was such a fun and busy month for us. I just wanted to do a quick recap of some of the super fun things that December consisted of. 

December was a big month for Lo! She did something she was scared to do and had a blast doing it. She went snowboarding! I dropped her off all bundled up (she had goggles on too) with the instructors and didn't pick her up until late that afternoon. When I went to get her (they keep them in this little make shift pen with a tiny hill in it, it's adorable) she was rolling down the hill with friends eating snow and you could tell she had such a great day. When we asked her if she wanted to do it again she said, "maybe" but was smiling huge so I'm going to take that as a solid yes. She told me all about how she learned to bend her knees and lean back and by the end of the day she was "jumping" and going over boxes! So proud of her! 

Christmas 2014

Sunday, January 11, 2015

As always, I'm right around 55 years late getting a post up that should obviously be at an earlier time.  But I get it up! And that's all that matters! So here is our Christmas morning for 2014. We had such a great time as a family and the morning was amazing and so relaxing. We tried to limits the toys this year (if they got something that would be considered a "toy" it was for imagination not just another Elsa doll :) ) and I am SO happy we did! The kids have played in their teepee with their masks for the majority of January and it is adorable watching them hide in it when Bryson is coming home and jump out to scare him. 

Foster lost interest pretty quick. All of a sudden he was gone and when we peeked into the kitchen we saw that he just helped himself to an apple. You can't open presents on an empty stomach! We also had an amazing time at my in-laws Christmas Eve and my families house on Christmas day. I love being able to see so much of our family! 

So without too much more typing I'm just going to get straight into pictures! I am pretty bummed I didn't get a picture in Lo's Christmas dress, which is absolutely adorable, full post on that sometime and a family picture. BUT I still have a ton of fun pictures to remember the morning by :) 

17 Weeks Bumpdate | Round 2

Friday, January 2, 2015

No drastic changes this past week :) Just been hanging out with family and trying to get some work done before we go out of town Sunday! We are heading to Denver for a quick trip to see Bryson's mom before school starts. I am all signed up for and paid for all classes next semester! So that's news I guess haha I am hoping to get our December recap pictures up by tomorrow because we did a lot of fun things the end of December! I also went on a  cleaning rampage through my house this past week which NEVER happens, well at least not these past 4 1/2 months. But it feels sooooo amazing to be living/working in a clean house! 

How was everyone's New Years?! We brought in New Years snuggled in bed :) Bryson and I made dinner (prime rib, king crab and garlic mashed potatoes- delish ) and Lo slept in her new teepee from Santa! We also watched Rio 2 before dozing off. :) What all did you do?

2014 Recap

Thursday, January 1, 2015

2014 was a great year. It was pretty relaxed, some awesome things happened and just an overall great year :) It was full of surprises, the outdoors and just enjoying family! 

January was the month I was still feeling super great after having Foster. I was on top of cleaning, meals and school :) Then I went to Vegas for four days without kids....

This is still one of my favorite posts to date. I'm not sure why, maybe because I am super proud of how my cake pops turned out, and also super disgusted at the same time.

This is the month I feel like Foster really changed. He still looks a lot like this adorable, sleeping 8 month old. 

This was one of the funnest hiking trips we've taken as a family. It was such a warm day even with the snow and it was so gorgeous! I also loved our Bathtub Finger Paints adventure ;) 

I am in LOVE with this hair color right now and will probably keep it until I am naturally gray. See the vlog for the whole transformation

This was the month my computer was down so not too many posts. This was also the month we went on a 2 day, 12 mile hike! 

We had such a blast with family for the fourth of July and of course, I had to put in when my big boy turned one! 

August | OOTD: White Blazer 

This is my favorite piece right now! I am in LOVE with this BCBG blazer :) 

Such a proud moment of the year for me! It was the hardest thing I have EVER done and I can't wait to do it again! & of course, our amazing family pictures <3

Lo started kindergarten in August but I am notoriously last for posts. 

November was the month we announced that I am 10 weeks pregnancy with baby number 3!!! Who would've saw that coming this year?! Not me! 

December | 15 Week Bumpdate

December has been a hard month for us. It's been filled with trials and lots of tears but it has also been filled with fun, acceptance and a whole lotta strength. :) 

I would LOVE to read all of you gorgeous ladies recaps! So feel free to post the link below :) They are my very favorite posts to read. 

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